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10 damaging parenting habits! | Kalvimalar - News

10 damaging parenting habits! -

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We all want our children to be successful, confident, cooperative, kind, and assertive.  It can be hard to teach our children to handle so many different behaviors. 


Here are some ways that WE hinder their growth.  


1).  Not letting our CHILD make the choice.


If you want your child to feel empowered, confident, and independent… allow them to make choices.  


When we don’t let our children have a choice of things now (while we can still supervise, guide, and help them), it will hinder them from making a choice when it comes to harder issues (when we aren’t there to help).


2). Not letting them “TAKE CHANCES,  MAKE MISTAKES.”


If you are always there to stop your child from making a mistake, they will rely on you forever.  Let them take chances.   


3). When We Don’t Really Listen


Our children know that we can provide good solutions to their problems, but still, they dont come. 


Why? They are afraid of being judged, afraid of getting into trouble.  Instead of feeling like we are the perfect people to listen & help them find a solution, they worry about the consequences.


Your child needs to learn to trust you so they can feel comfortable coming to you.  The best way to build trust? Listen to your child, without reacting. Just listen.


4). We OVER-compliment.


Yes, it is GREAT to be proud of your kids, but give them the chance to show you their greatness. Compliment them, of course, but let it mean something.


If we are always telling them how great they do, for every tiny thing, our word will start to become something that they NEED, or it will also lose part of its value and it won’t mean anything to them.  It will become as common as hearing “Hi”


5). We swoop in to SAVE them constantly.


The problem is that as soon as our children learn that if they fail at something, we will save them.


What happens down the road? In college? With their mortgage? Their marriage? Their job? We can’t save them.


Teach them how to deal with things, instead of saving them. 


6). We let guilt blind us.


It’s ok to let kids feel some disappointment.  


The beautiful thing about children is that they are so resilient and they will get over it. In return, children will learn that they can’t have everything that they want, just because they want it.


Don’t let guilt blind you and don’t let materialistic things blind your children.   


7).  Expecting Perfection.


Don’t expect perfection.  Don’t expect laziness, either.


Teach them to try their best (and make sure that they do!).


Making their bed is a great example.  They might make the bed as you would. 


Don’t re-make it.  It will only make them feel like it wasn’t worth their effort. Instead, encourage them.


8).  We don’t SHOW them what to do… we tell them.


Lead by example.  The best thing that we can do is to SHOW our kids how to behave.


9).  We aren’t MODELING what we want to see


As a parent, we have one job: teach our children.


Teach them to be kind, teach them to be responsible, teach them how to stay safe, teach them what to do in a dangerous situation, and teach them when to come to you.


If they don’t see us practicing what we preach, they won’t do it, either.


10).  We don’t encourage them to TRY … and fail.


If they want to try something, tell them to go for it!   If they think something might be too hard… ask them “Why not just give it a shot?   What’s the worst that can happen?” 


Don’t let them try dangerous situations. But do encourage them to try things that they might be reluctant to try.  Let them rather try & fail, than never try at all.




Best wishes !


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